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Daddy's Womb MAG

April 23, 2008
By Anonymous

i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

© Anonymous

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 2184 comments.

Mario94 GOLD said...
on Aug. 22 2014 at 12:48 am
Mario94 GOLD, Secaucus, New Jersey
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Riveting work!!
Dbzfan836 BRONZE said...
on Aug. 20 2014 at 7:30 pm
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This is genuine writing, sir! I am never going to let you stop, I will motivate you to the end.
Longlegs GOLD said...
on Aug. 8 2014 at 6:36 pm
Longlegs GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
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The ending is suprising and slightly funny. Overall its a great poem! I really enjoyed. Keep writing.
Mushroom SILVER said...
on Jul. 16 2014 at 6:58 pm
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Although I understand that this poem is supposed to be childish in nature; I find the complete lack of grammar makes it difficult to read.
Theraforever PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 11 2014 at 3:31 pm
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I love this poem and will most likley read it perpetually till its words have no meaning. It is a phonmenal peice and tells a story with just the right amount of words and details. Never stop writing! :) - Thera
VanMartin said...
on Jul. 5 2014 at 10:29 pm
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Great poem. do you think you could check out my poems too? TeenInk.com/search.php?smodel=all&sall_uid=267391
KylieKylieMarie GOLD said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 12:03 pm
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This poem is absolutly beautiful. I love it.
dani000.camp PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 4 2014 at 1:20 am
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Emotional, drastic, innocent yet bold all at once. This is beautiful. I have so much more that I could say about it but I don't want to ruin something this masterful with my clunky words. I love this poem.
taymmarie BRONZE said...
on Jul. 2 2014 at 1:59 pm
taymmarie BRONZE, Bradenton, Florida
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This is beautiful poem. The tone shifts are so drastic, and it really intensifies the meaning of the poem. You are very talented! 
conman873 BRONZE said...
on Jun. 22 2014 at 11:39 am
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And in the third stanza when "the sea is at his level" the "I" is capitalized! Great symbolic detail throughout!
MindDrifter said...
on Jun. 18 2014 at 1:29 pm
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I love this poem. Best one i've read around here.
JupiterTheJedi SILVER said...
on Jun. 16 2014 at 11:32 pm
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I never thought about it that way before! I'm glad you mentioned that. A certain style of the way this is written makes it seem like this was written by a small child. (The i's make it seem more childlike, too.)
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Love the twist at the end. I noticed how the "I" wasn't capitalized, but other words like "sea" and "father" were. I love that it symbolizes how the father and life (the "sea") are bigger than the speaker and so are able to bind the speaker to the ground/reality. Profound and concise. Love it!
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really loved the poem , so nicely written , what play of words and the last line gave it a golden feather .................  
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LOVE this!!! Could you check out my story? It would mean a lot to me. :) TeenInk.com/fiction/thriller_mystery/article/686391/The-Dreams-that-Keep-Gettign-Darker/
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Every time I read this poem I love it more and more. Literally amazing. I know the "literally" might downplay the amazing to some people, but I mean it in the highest sense of the word. Absolutely fabulous!!!
catwithglasses SILVER said...
on Jun. 4 2014 at 7:18 pm
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This is a really great poem. Those last few lines really tie the whole thing together and are very touching. This is very well written. Great job!
Dezarae SILVER said...
on May. 20 2014 at 11:48 pm
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The emotion displayed here was relatable and very well written. 
PoeticPrincess BRONZE said...
on May. 12 2014 at 10:55 am
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This is an amazing poem, it really touched my soul. Great Job!!!   If you guys have time please check out mine thanks!