'I don’t wanna run,
I’ve been here since I was young.
Whoa this city day could be gone within the hour.

Oh hurricane, what you gonna do to us this time?’- Hurricane, Athlete.


So here I am, writing and drawing as I usually do with my only intention to listen to the music on my iPod and fill my time with something worthy and productive. This song (and I speak of Hurricane by a remarkable band called Athlete) has been occupying my ears on loop for the last half hour, and only now have I realised that I have done nothing but stare absently into space listening to the words over and over. See, the meaning is there, crystal clear, and it strikes a nerve.

Recently, and I mean over a long period of time (I think I was born to be this way if I’m honest) I’ve had a lot on my mind. People don’t quite get how I work, and I don’t blame them because I don’t understand it either. I’m not a good person, there’s a lot of things I absolutely hate about myself and I wake up every now and then and get the feeling that I should go out there and sort myself out, just get going with stuff and make myself into somebody good, somebody worthy. The feeling fades just as quickly as it arrives, and I tell you honestly, the frustration that follows could potentially be the fuel to the fire that results in me murdering somebody one of these days.

We are all vulnerable; it’s the way the human race was designed to be. We have our own imperfections, we are critical, we pick things apart to the point where things have been read into way too much and small situations become the biggest molehills ever. We face problems and obstacles on a day to day basis, and those of us who are strong will pick ourselves up again, aware that we will only face the same trials and tribulations the next day in some form or the other. Without hope, we are nothing. And that’s exactly why this song means so much to me. I don’t want to run anymore, either. I want to face things dead on, and stop turning away from matters that I can fix if I try hard enough. The point is; a hurricane comes along and demolishes all that I have built, and leaves me pretty much empty on a regular basis, and it’s a dark time when everything seems to be much harder to deal with. But the main thing to remember is a hurricane is natural and powerful, and whilst it may take the security rug from beneath your feet in one swipe, it leaves you with the foundations of something new, so that you can learn from the last time and put yourself out there to build your life up once again.

So hurricane, you will arrive once again inevitably, and I’m pretty sure I know how you’ll attack, but I want to let you know I’ll be waiting, and this time I’m going to put up a fight before I let you weaken me any further. I don’t want to run anymore.